i'm content with life. things may not be great, but i'm content. i'm stressing out, though. i realized today that i cannot graduate from here. i can't afford to do more than four years, and i can't complete my degree in four years, so umsl, here i come. the question becomes, do i do the national junior program for reffing and just move back to st louis this year? i have a job reffing and working for the blues if i do. but i have friends here, and this school is amazing. i think i'm scared of disappointing people, though. what do i do? i really hope something or someone comes along to help me here...please...
lord, please guide me through my future.
Psalm 73:24-25
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

i went out last night for the first time in awhile, and it was awesome. i didn't get too crazy, and i talked to brett for a good half hour about abortion lol. it was a good time. everyone was happy, and i was okay with being alone on valentine's day. i'm at a new point in my life. now i have to figure out whether i'm going to finish college right away or not. i have a shot to do a huge reffing program, but i'll probably have to work out of saint louis...so we'll have to see. anyone have any advice?

so this priest thing might really happen...my friends have given me more support than i could have ever asked for...thank you, god, for giving me friends that i can trust and believe in.

so i'm thinking of becoming a priest...any thoughts?

so carnivale has officially started. mardi gras is in two weeks, i'm going home this weekend...things should look up. i've got friends; i watched porky's 1 and 2 with a stripper in my bed last night. but then i look at splotches and see my friends happy with their "amazing boys." i miss having an amazing girl. i peaked at 16 and 17. wtf?! everything that goes for me down here is a step in the wrong direction, but i have no other options. i feel like a fucking charity case.